Why Can't I Look Like Her?: A Despicable Truth of Beauty Filters

 

“Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder because the sense of beauty is itself transient in nature”- a well known proverb by the ancient Greek philosopher, Plato. How far this proverb justifies today’s mindset?

Beauty is something which is not fixed - what is beautiful for one can be the ugliest and atrocious thing for other. It can only be skin deep with no fixed pattern of characteristics. In today's world, people have set extremely negative stereotypes for both men and women when it comes to beauty standards. The glamour industry has tried to confine "beauty" into the box of definition and has created an artificial and most unattainable view of beauty. The 21st century has embraced the most unrealistic perception of "Beauty"- something with fixed features which are blemish and wrinkle free skin, perfect symmetrical face, toned body etc. So, in order to be part of that nonexistent world we have unconsciously jumped into another domain (social media) which portrays an unrealistic portrayal of ourselves.

Social media is easily available to everyone and so we are free to construct an online persona which may or may not match who we are in real life. There are limitless options of filters and photo editing features which helps in crafting an image which is above and beyond who we actually are.

What we project our image online matters more than who we’re actually in real life.

We live in a time where we love to document our personal lives (better version) and the social media has played a vital role in helping its users achieve that in a most unrealistic manner. Social media platforms like Snapchat, instagram and tiktok have many perfection filters that can drastically alter your appearance and helps to create an imagined image of yourself. These apps have given an unasked gift to its users which they never knew they needed: selfie booster filter. This selfie culture is too addictive that on an average one person spends nearly 3 hours in a day in clicking a society approved selfie using a perfect filter which sadly doesn't even compliment their natural beauty.

Study has proved that around 90% of people edit their pictures by changing their skin tones, reshaping their jaw lines, altering their eye color etc before posting them on social media. These filters initially appeared as a gimmick where one could use facial recognition technology to place cat’s ears over a user's face. Nowadays, it is no longer used as a fun activity; rather it has added so much pressure on teenagers to look the way the filters make them look.

These platforms have started a wave which is globally affecting the psyches of the users. Youngsters are spending excessive time in creating their "filtered version looks" and then giving it a suitable caption to grab immediate validation and feedback in the form of likes and comments on social media. This can be so nerve-racking and exhausting. Even those who are not ardent users can still feel the ramification of these filters. The pressure of achieving the unrealistic beauty standards has made teenagers suffer from low self- esteem and complex problems like depression, eating and sleeping disorder and prompt suicidal thoughts among youngsters. Further, it has even lead to what cosmetic surgeons have termed as "Snapchat dysmorphia". As per Surgeons, it has become so worse that patients are looking to improve their body's anatomy or appearances as per the filtered versions. This includes implantation of foreign objects, cosmetic surgeries (eye widening, liposuction and rib removal), prosthetics, tattooing, body piercings and genital surgeries. Gone are the days when people wanted to look like celebrities, they now get the surgeries done just to look like their own altered self.

I personally feel that with advancing technological development, the newer apps are surfacing online which has an immediate effect on beauty. I have no objection if someone gets involved in these apps for fun sake because this can act as an eye- opener to the detrimental effects that living through filters can have. It is mindless to spend so much of your precious time in scrolling other's reels which have nothing real but are edited and filtered to grab number of followers. As we scroll in to isolation, we remove ourselves from in- person relationships and support. This addicted world aggravates in us the feeling of FOMO (fear of missing out on what others are experiencing) as we start comparing ourselves with the edited images of others.

The ultimate desire of any person is to have internal peace. Ironically, we believe the source of internal peace lies in the external world. In reality, true peace lies "within". In this “attention economy” we need to stop relying on strangers for validation because this social media misuses this human fixation on validation and ratchets it up to a new level. Your selfie is not less beautiful because you didn't apply any photo filters; rather it will be appreciated for its own individual uniqueness which God has bestowed upon you. We are on the journey of self- admiration and the first step towards achieving eternal happiness and peace is to know your self-worth and learn to accept and appreciate yourself for the way you are.

We should realize the true meaning of being “beautiful”. Being externally beautiful is great but it is not the correct parameter to judge beauty of a person. Beauty is something that lasts and not something which is perishable and short lived. Instead of celebrating the uniqueness with which every individual is born, we are masking them with a veil of standardized facial filters to meet the beauty standards of societal acceptance.

It is high time that we should learn how to consume social media in a healthier way and should acknowledge that we are beautiful in our own ways and we don’t need any filter to enhance our beauty.

Dr. Ranbir Kaur

29th March, 2022

Why spark fades away after Marriage ?

  

Apart from the dictionary meaning, what comes to your mind when I say marriage? Is it the state of being happy, sense of contentment, sense of fulfillment, or is it the other way round -feeling a sense of responsibility, sense of being caged or is it just an institution of blame- game?

According to Fawn Weaver, “Marriage is the virtuous exploration of love in its purest form and pleasure in its highest state”. Is it so? Let’s be realistic. The hope to have happy and fulfilling married life is the deepest desire. Countless married couples have complained that ‘love or spark fades away with time’. After a few exciting years of marriage, a wave of "dullness" or "boredom" can submerge the relationship and has even lead many couples to look for excitement elsewhere. Nearly 30-60% of couples in United States have experienced a shift in their affections to start an affair. What prompts the shift from their heart racing enthusiasm for another person to boredom and detachment?

One of the basic eroding elements in marriage is "blame- shifting" or blame game. This is something we have been doing since the Garden of Eden. Even Adam and Eve entered this endless loop where Adam blames Eve and she blames the serpent and this list goes on and on. Nobody stops this loop by saying the most powerful words, "yes I did wrong" or "yes I admit. I hurt you". Blaming the other partner for the act you did can serve no good purpose to your relationship. This not so funny game will slowly erode the integrity of the bond and will establish the irretrievable breakdown of marriage. This is basically a manipulative tactic done by abuser to victimize themselves by saying:

"I slapped you because you have brought me to that level".

"I cheat on you because you were always so busy in household chores".

"I have an affair because you have stopped giving me any attention".

This blame- shifting is an abusive act mainly done by people who are escapists and lack emotional maturity to own up to their wrong behavior. It is a coping mechanics for them as they unconsciously put blame on others without apprehending faulty logic. Ceaselessly being around someone who fears to take responsibility for their actions takes a toll on your emotional and psychological well-being. They start gas-lighting you for something you have not done just to save them from being humiliated. Thus, this addictive play leaves the other person in the zone of despair as he (or she) blames himself for the failure in relationship.

Secondly, I feel "taken for granted" is another important factor that leads to downfall in marriages. I believe its human nature to feel excited, wonderful, unique, passionate and special for things which he aspires to have but after acquiring them he loses his interest. This is even applicable when it comes to relationships. Nothing in this world can match to the feeling of being loved, valued, acknowledged and appreciated. In any new budding relationships or marriages there is abundance of praises, excitement and affection. We try to give our best without expecting much in return from other person. We go out of our ways to do things to make each other happy and to 'win' each other's approval and to get married. After few years of marriage or after the point your 'honeymoon period' is over, things start to deteriorate as we have no sense of being insecure or loosing each other and take marriage as a lifelong commitment. Further, overtime, the extra gestures to show affection, appreciation, and acknowledgment starts falling by the wayside.

It is not enough to rely on 'marriage licence' to hold relationships tight. It is a very fragile bond which needs to be nurtured and one needs to make life long endeavors to light the never ending spark of love in marriage. One needs to prioritize because neither people nor relationships can be 'put on hold'. When you take your spouse for granted, you are at continuous risk to lose the emotional connectivity and by the time you wish to devote your time, your spouse no longer needs that. So, to have a healthy marriage, never stop to act like a teenager. Constant expression of love and admiration acts like a mortar in building the foundation of marriage firm and lifelong.

Marriage has multiple facets and is nothing like what we call "happily ever after". It is no more the world of two people who are enjoying the bliss of being in a Utopian world. It doesn't rests on one partner's shoulders, rather there is need to maintain a balance in relationship when it comes to sharing responsibilities. Marriage should not comply with patriarchal norms. Time has surely changed and the clear demarcation of works based on "gender" is probably over. The distinction of work should be done on the basis of preferences and strengths of a person rather than on 'gender'. It's not important anymore who is doing what as far as mutual respect for each other is there. If the couple truly wants to spend time with one another, they must work out together to buy time for themselves. If any couple fails to maintain that balance their marriage will surely come to an unexpected end.

It is extremely common for the married couples to get irritated by each other's habit. For instance, you might not like the tea prepared by your wife. Or you might not like something your husband has done. If these habits irritate you, the first thing which you need to imbibe is not to complain and rather appreciate the efforts put in by the other half. However, unnecessary criticism will only rot your relationship. As I have mentioned before, the key to successful marriage is to distribute the responsibilities evenly based on the level of interests and preferences.

The key to happy marriage is to engage in the process of self evaluation. One should be willing to change one's perception over what is important and what aspects in marriage needs to be declined over time. Specific aspects in relationship which tend to be more positive in the beginning don't evoke the same kind of feeling once the relationship is old. So giving more value to each other's positives and ignoring the negatives (i.e. faults) is the key to sustain a happy and healthy marriage. You need to have an optimistic attitude towards family issues. For instance, today your wife talked rudely to you, so instead of taking that as misbehavior, try to think that she might had a bad day in office. Surely, this attitude will not have any global implication on your marriage. Lastly, learn to be empathetic, loving, understanding and loving towards your spouse and family and be a proactive individual who is accountable for his actions.

Dr. Ranbir Kaur

22nd March, 2022

 

HOW TO WRITE AN ESSAY

 

Writing involves multitude of forms like essays, articles, blogs etc. ‘Essay writing’ in particular is a loose term used for writing that stresses on author’s views on any topic, be it academic, editorial or even hilarious.

Essay can be construed as a ‘discussion’ like narrating a story to someone, giving your views on certain topic or just trying to convince someone with certain view of yours. Based on the topic of discussion, there are basic categories in essay writing like narrative essay (narrating a story), persuasive essay (persuade the reader), analytical essay and descriptive essay (describing a topic in detail).

Before writing an essay, if you are given the topic, you need to choose the type of essay which will provide a structure to your essay. If the topic is not given, then you need to choose a topic which interests you or you feel passionate about because it will help you to organise your thoughts in a more creative and constructive way. Once the topic is clear in your mind, try to do a detailed research on the concerned topic and put your ideas in one statement which will form a ‘thesis statement’ for your essay.

The second step involves giving a strong title to your essay which includes a ‘verb’. The title should never be obvious and should be ‘eye catching’ enough to grab the attention of the readers. Once the title is finalised, you need to start prep work for your ‘introduction’ because after title, this will surely provide a next big prospect to hook your readers. It should be both interesting and informative.

Next, based on the research work you have done, you need to outline your thoughts. Put all your ideas concerning the topic on a piece of paper and highlight the main arguments which will support your point of view in the essay. Now, start writing your first draft. Don’t panic, it’s your first draft not your final draft so feel free to give wings to your thoughts.

While framing your introduction, keep the following things in your mind:

1.     Use catchy vocabulary and try to make it precise and informative.

2.     Give little background information about your topic.

3.     Mention briefly the objective of your essay.

4.     Give an overview of the whole essay.

Once the introduction has been framed, it’s time to give structure to the main body of the essay. The body of essay illustrates your topic. Each idea that you have mentioned in the outline will form a separate paragraph of your essay. Each paragraph should be consistent with one another. Use transitions to introduce a new paragraphs like “firstly, secondly, lastly, finally, however, moreover, furthermore, in addition” etc. These transition words give a beautiful and impressive structure to your essay.

The main purpose of the body of essay is to provide support to the ‘thesis statement’ of your essay with the help of evidences, facts, figures, data, examples, quotes and other suitable evidences. In short, keep the following are the tips to write a body paragraph:

1.     Keep in mind the thesis statement.

2.     Give solid evidences to support your argument.

3.     Provide relevant examples and facts to make your point strong.

4.     Make sure paragraphs are consistent with one another.

5.     Use transition between the paragraphs.

6.     Conclude each paragraph.

Lastly, you need to ‘conclude’ your essay which is as important as the introduction of the essay. The conclusion sums up the overall thoughts and provides the readers a final perspective on the topic.  To make your conclusion effective try to give a futuristic overview and make such persuasive statements in the conclusion that they should agree with your point of view.

Keep the following tips in mind while framing your conclusion:

1.     Your arguments should be connected and don’t add any new ideas at this stage.

2.     Focus on outcomes.

3.     Put emphasis on the relevance of the thesis statement.

4.     Show the wider implication of the topic.

 

Lastly, critically review your essay as many times as you can. Edit, edit and edit your essay focusing mainly on the grammar, spelling mistakes, punctuation, format etc. If you are still worried, you can even take the help of essay writing and editing services to help you in writing and publishing your essays without much trouble.

 

Dr. Ranbir Kaur

15^th March, 2022

 

 

 

Suicide: A Tragic Mystery

Suicide: A Tragic Mystery

Suicide doesn’t remove the pain; it is rather transferred to the ones who are left behind alive.

  

Suicide- the word is enough to catch the attention of anyone but sadly it’s always the reason leading up to suicide that remains unnoticed. Suicide often stems from being in the state of complete hopelessness. This feeling of despair raises to that level that people takes away their own lives to find a permanent solution to the temporary problem.

The question here is- Why people commit suicide? Is it easy to end one’s own life? Is suicide a selfish or cowardly act? Generally people call it a selfish act because the act of taking your life is distressing to the saviors who are left behind to face the aftermaths.

What I personally feel is that ‘suicide’ is not a choice but a health issue. A suicide attempt is a vivid indication that something is solemnly wrong in the person’s life. Suicide doesn’t discriminate- No matter how rich or poor one is; or to which religion one belongs to, it is fact that the people who commit suicide have mental or emotional illness. The most fundamental disorder is depression, 30% to 70% of the people who commit suicide suffer from severe depression or bipolar disorder.

Everyone feel low and unhappy at times and it can come out of no apparent reason. Main concern is when this feeling stays in for a longer period of time and one loses interest in things which one once enjoyed. Depression is often ignored or untreated, it refrains people to act for them. Symptoms of depression may differ and they may manifest themselves differently from people to people. Some of the common symptoms are listed below:

Psychological Symptoms:

1.      Continuous feeling low and sad

2.      Feeling of being clueless, worthless or helpless

3.      Zero self esteem

4.      Feeling irritable and intolerant to others

5.      Loss of interest in things

6.      Problem in decision making

7.      Having suicidal thoughts

8.      Feeling anxious

9.      Difficulty in concentrating

10.  Complete hopelessness about future

11.  Cropping of unrealistic and baseless ideas

Physical Symptoms:

1.      Lowering of walking pace

2.      Speaking more slowly than usual

3.      Constipation

4.      Lack of interest in sex

5.      Feeling lethargic

6.      Changes in eating habits and weight fluctuations

7.      Change in menstrual cycle

8.      Lack of sound sleep

9.      Unexplained aches and pains

10.  Crying spells

 Remember, depression surfaces for a reason. When we suppress our inner voices, depression arises. It may be triggered by incidences like losing someone from the family, or by intense family conflict or by constant rejections or even from unfulfilled lofty goals.

 Depression isn’t something to abhor, rather it a warning sign that you are not on a right track. Love, attention, care and support are the most powerful agents in the treatment of depression. Try to be more sensitive towards people who feel depressed. Be an open listener, who understands their problems. Avoid using words like: “everything is good” or “you don’t have any reason to worry about”. Instead try saying- “I hear you”, I do understand your problem”, or “things will get better”. Advice should be simple not complicated like “let’s go for a walk together” or “I am always there for you no matter what happen but now you need more of professional advice”. Listen, but don’t judge, argue, threaten, or yell. This all requires patience, so do take care of yourself too.

# Remember the two most effective ways to reduce the risk of suicide are to build friendly and healthy relationship with the family and try to have open communication. It is important not to see depression as enemy but as an expression of struggle.

Dr. Ranbir Kaur

29th June, 2020

‘Power of Optimism in the Midst of Coronavirus

‘Power of Optimism in the Midst of Coronavirus

‘Coronavirus’ or COVID-19 is the most common word in the lexicon of people nowadays. As Corona virus pandemic unfolds across the entire world, it has transformed the world in both positive and negative ways. Thousands of people have lost their lives and lakhs of them have fallen ill from this virulent disease. The constant stream of negative news has made people feel anxious and uncertain. Being anxious is the most explicable reaction as this epidemic has affected the daily routines of people by making it dull and monotonous. It is difficult to liberate oneself from building up a feeling of helplessness and a sense of insecurity.

The coronavirus is not only affecting us physically but is more damaging to our nervous systems. We have inculcated a new habit of constantly peeking at the data updates of the virus spreading extensively. This media information easily helps our brains to spin stories of fear and dread. The uncertainty about the virus is making people more anxious through ‘social contagion’ which implies that anxiety is triggered simply by talking to someone who is already anxious. Nowadays, when we talk to our friends and relatives on phone, the major topic of our conversation is ‘Corona’ which further helps in accelerating the level of anxiety.

Staying at ‘home’ can save you from coming in physical contact with virus but it has surely become the most apposite place to be psychologically close to virus. What I personally feel, the virus has more potential of affecting the lives of people psychologically especially of elderly people who are more prone to get affected. Having the feeling of being locked at home and unable to meet friends develops the fear of isolation in them. It is hard to maintain equilibrium in the epidemic but it is high time that we should engage our minds in something which will develop positive spirit instead of an endless spiral of negative thoughts and feelings.

Just as there are two sides to a coin, there are two sides to every situation. Keeping in mind the precautions, it is time to overlook the negativity that this pandemic is spreading and focusing on the positivity which will help you view this situation from a constructive perspective. Staying positive means when you choose to see the good and it reflects your outlook towards life. The corona virus too has actually resulted in a bunch of positives for humanity as well as for our planet Earth. As far as planet Earth is considered it has been given a chance to breathe again. Pollution is lowered, the sky is clearer; wildlife is returning to newly clear waters, reduction of greenhouse gases, etc. As far as our lives are considered, in today’s fast world, the quarantine has given us the opportunity to spend quality time with our families. Families are using recipes from around the world as a time to bond together. Mealtimes offer time to talk, listen and build good family relationships.

So, in the grueling and challenging time of epidemic, we need an antidote so that we can have a positive outlook and march ahead with fortitude and strength of mind. Engross yourself in activities that are constructive, cheering, uplifting, stress reducing and laughter inducing! Together, we’ll get through this.

Dr. Ranbir Kaur

22nd May, 2020.

RAPE: The Most Inhuman Crime

RAPE: The Most Inhuman Crime

What comes to our minds when we hear the word “Rape”? Do we connect denotatively to this word or do it really emotes some kind of emotional upheaval in our minds?

Rape is a heinous crime which affects a woman both emotionally and physically. Emotional trauma turns out to be more devastating than any physical injury as it leaves non- healing scars on their minds. Women who are raped have nightmares, panic attacks, an engulfing sense of distrust and self doubt.

My questions are- What causes rapes? Is the size of woman’s dress an invitation to rape her? Is it women’s self independent attitude which bothers men’s ego?

If you ask a rapist this question, they have all sorts of irrational justification for their actions with no sense of regrets in their eyes. In this patriarchal world, rape is a stigmatized crime wherein people try to point fingers at victim instead of accused. This belief of finding fault in victim becomes the main reason of her emotional segregation wherein she is expected to remain silent to preserve her honour.

Majority of men believe that woman who wear short revealing clothes are more likely to be sexually assaulted. If revealing dresses provoke men, then why women clad in sarees and burqas raped? Rapists allege that women use heavy makeup and dark lipsticks to draw men’s attention. But my concern is if heavy makeup intensifies and exacerbates the crime then why in India, where on an average 106 rapes are reported everyday and out of which 40 per cent of the victims are minors and infants. How will they justify rape on old and aged women who are hospitalised with severe ailments, women who are in comma or suffer from some mental illness? What have these people done to attract or allure a rapist?

Another reason which leads to this crime is “desire of power” to control women. Conventional societal masculine norms are considered to function in such ways that it endorses men’s supremacy and women’s subordination and the best ploy that helps them in sustaining that authority is by demonstrating sexual aggression. Many cultures expound women been a malevolent beings sent by the devil to lead men astray. Surprisingly, the Jewish Testament of Reuben States:

Women are evil, my children…they use wiles and try to ensnare [man] by their charms … They lay plots in their hearts against men: by the way they adorn themselves they first lead their minds astray, and by a look they instill the poison, and then in the act itself they take them captive … So shun fornication, my children and command your wives and daughters not to adorn their heads and faces.”

 Many rape cases have been reported even when one is in relationships like husband-wife; girlfriend-boyfriend; live-in- relationship; friends and acquaintances. The basic reason behind this is their incompetence to take the word “NO” and further presuming that as rejection. Men with inane minds objectify women as their personal property to provide them with sexual pleasure regardless of their personal sentiments.   

Men have many preconceptualised myths like – No means yes; women feel shy to overtly say yes; women who drink and go to pub is an easy prey; advanced progressive women are more open to sex; women’s smiles is a sign of ‘yes’; etc. conceiving and spreading such kinds of myths deprives women from becoming an active agent to voice her choice. Possessing this kind of opinionated outlook robs men from being sensitive and responsive towards women.

Priyanka Banerjee in her short film ‘Devi’ sensitively talks about the victims of ‘rape’ through nine tales which portray different shades of brutality, leaving the audience in goosebumps in the end. This film beautifully acknowledges the fact that rape can happen to anyone irrespective of clothes you wear, age, social standing and above all that a husband can even rape his wife. There is a constant bell sound which reminds them that a new member is waiting to enter and women argue about the inability to accommodate more women in that room. The viewers are compelled to ask themselves that- the only shared emotion or experience these women have is that of sexual violence these women have faced. The title of the film ironically reminds us that we live in a country where we worship goddesses but we fail to extend the same kind of respect and admiration to the one who live with us and epitomises purity.

Girls are taught since their childhoods the precautionary measures with which they can save them. When she is alone she impulsively bolts the doors and windows even on a baking summer night. Instead of teaching boys to respect women, we teach our girls how to protect herself from boys. Ask a girl what she does to protect herself and she'll mark off a list of essentials: never leaving a building without her keys in hand, looking over her shoulder in the parking lot, scrutinizing faces on an elevator, avoiding parking places. Yet, despite all the precautions, women can still be at risk.

There is dire need for change and the change has to be globally. Men need to change their mindsets that woman is not an object of desire or a commodity meant to be consumed and ravished. Sex education, gender sensitization and awareness is vital as youngsters have the urge to explore being entirely unaware of the disastrous repercussions. For the safety of women there should be proper CCTV cameras in desolate areas. It is high time that instead of teaching our girls methods to avoid getting rapes, we should teach our boys not to rape. The parents of boys should take the responsibility of making their boys responsible citizens. They must be taught that ‘no means no’ and nothings else and must inculcate the sense of respect for women in them. We need to question the accused and not the victim and society needs to be more sensitive towards women who face the worst crime against womanhood.

Dr. Ranbir Kaur

02^nd April, 2020

Women Empowerment: The Word Misinterpreted

Women Empowerment: The Word Misinterpreted

One of the most misconstrued, misapprehended and misunderstood word is ‘WOMEN EMPOWERMENT’. It simply refers to an attempt to make women economically, socially and politically self reliant. It talks about the need of action to support women in self-actualizing their inner strength and vigour to empower herself.

According to the World Bank:

Empowerment is more of a process which empowers women to become an agent of change. It makes her competent enough to make choices of her own and then further transforming those choices in desired actions. It is basically the change from “can do” factor going from “I can’t” to I can”. 

There are still so many delusions and misconceptions around the world. The biggest of all is when we feel that power is something external, something that can be acquired or something that will be bestowed upon us. In my opinion, it is a fallacy of trivial minds to depend on others to attain power. Power lies within every individual and the only need is to become conscious of that power. This reminds me of Socrates philosophy which still shines today: “Know thyself”. Even Aristotle said “knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” In rural areas women are still comparatively unaware of their inner strengths and still they blame men for their condition. My question is- Why do we expect other to empower us? Why don’t we have faith in ourselves? For how long are we going to see ourselves with self pity?

We live in 21^st century and the world is undoubtedly evolving. We could now see confidence in women’s eyes and they are brave enough to speak for their rights openly. These are the women who are self aware and know their worth. So, there is no point in questioning others because the only hurdle that comes in the way of women’s emancipation or liberation is women herself. In my opinion, if a woman is suffering in the hands of a man, the only reason behind that is- lack of faith in her inner strength. Barack Obama once said: “Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” Feminist movements have done allot to make the world a better place for women where her voice can be heard. There is no legroom for blame games now and it’s high time now that women should be brave enough to take responsibility and speak for her. This reminds me of Nobel Prize winner, Sir William Gerald Golding’s saying: “I think women are foolish to pretend that are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been.”

“Outside” affects the “inside” and the society in which we live has certain set ideologies which we replicate and which further constructs our emotional and social selves. Seeing the world from men’s viewpoint, it is evident that they are not very much comfortable with the concept of “Empowered women”. There is no doubt there are good men out there who appreciate women for being strong and professionally successful but there is subtext attached to this liberation too- that it should not be done at the cost of her domestic responsibilities. Even in 21^st century, it is hard for men to absorb the notion of an “empowered women” who gives first preference to her profession. She is expected to maintain a Work-Life balance and guilt over household chores is harming working women’s health. The woman who neglects her domestic responsibilities over her professional assignments is titled as ‘unfeminine’, fallen women or immoral. It is certainly true that we expect our young generations to be more open minded and acquire egalitarian outlook and we could see the positive change when it comes to gender roles but not in terms of domestic labour.

Ironically, by being ‘empowered’ has a completely different connotation for women. She is very much responsive about her familial errands and doesn’t intend to disregard her familial responsibilities as a daughter or as a wife. By being ‘empowered’ she only desires to have equal right to education, equal right to be opinionated and equal right to live a life of dignity.

It’s Women’s History Month, a wonderful time to become conscious and support today’s empowered young women who are doing more than making his-story and are constructing her-story. It is fight for “self actualisation” which is the process whereby every individual comprehends her inherent potential which further helps her to achieve the highest level of herself. In nutshell, I personally feel the only secret to women’s empowerment is women. She needs to think outside the box and give way to more robust global sisterhood, one in which no women are relegated to passivity and silence.

Dr. Ranbir Kaur
9th March, 2020